tragic loss and a new found start
by wolfy447
Summary: carlos losses his favorite sibling in a tradgic accident and kendall falls for him. logan is having dificulty telling james how he feels about him. will they ever get together and will kenlos work out or plummit off a cliff. and a frightening part of logans past returns.
1. oooh la la

carlos woke up tears pouring out of his eyes "why!"

"carlos are you okay?" kendall asked from accross the room.

"no ive cried myself to sleep for the past few days and had th worst ightmare im so sorry i didnt mean to wake you" carlos sobbed and turned over and began to pray in spanish.

kendall took this oppertunity to cross the room and crawl into bed next to him. "what happened"

"my mom called wendsday you remember that trip they took to the lake with my brothers"

"yeah"

"well my youngest bbrother fell in the water and...and..and..." he had to choke it out "drowned"

"oh my god im so sorry" kendall wispered into carlos` ear. carlos turned and laid his head on kendalls chest secretly he was in love with the blond headed boy.

kendall had fallen in love with the latino as well but played it off like he was straight by dating jo. he had the thought that carlos was religious from the fact that he prayed constantly. but now the pale boy began to sing.

_"you can count on me like 1...2..3 and ill be there and i know when i need it i can count on you like 4...3...2 and youll be there cause thats what friends are supposed to do ah yeah. if your tossing and your turning and you just cant fall asleep ill sing a ssong beside you if you ever forget how much you really mean to me every day i will remind you-"_ carlos stopped sobbing and interupted.

"i love you kendall" then he gasped and slammed his head into his pillow. kendall not even thinking about it puled carlos up to his knees and wispered "i love you too" right before plunging there lips together.

with this carlos let out a loud moan and grinded himself into kendall then pulled back. "what aboutt jo"

"i only dated her to hide the fact that i liked you"

"why hide it"

"i thought you where like a cristian"

"and your not..." he scoffed and laid back down.

"i believe in god but... oh you dont know"

"dont know what"

"carlos you cant be a gay cristian"

"why not logan is...oh crap!"

"really"

"yeah hes kinda in love with james but is never gonna tell him"

"well mabe we should change that fact" kendall pulled carlos in to another kiss.

**this is so adorable i dont know why i said i didnt like this pairing there so cute together. r&r. theres more to come**


	2. daddys home

Logans dad was spycodic and only kendall and of course logan new this but one day he came by to visit.

_knock knock_

"well well well hows my dashing boys carrier" he said as logan opened the door.

"dad what sre you doing here" logan asked looking back to see kendall hiding in the shadows.

"you still single and a nerd i see from all the text books and by the fact that your roomate is a boy im guessing your gay"

" its wonderfull to see you again how logis mom" was in the room now

"not good shes still in that institution did you know that she killed seven people alrready"

"oh dear god KATI lets go! sorry to show and go but when you live with five kids food goes fast" with that misses knight left.

_pow!_

logans dad had smacked him accross the room.

"so you thought you could run away from me move here to LA hide and hope i wouldnt find you well you thought wrong your coming home with me"

"the hell he is" kendall steped out of the shadows

"ah kendall how are you"

"dont change tthe subject you sick twisted freak logan has somthing to say to you" carlos was in the shadows and also saw the whole thing but no one noticed.

"i cant kenny!"

"yes you can get a backbone boy come on stand up to this freak" he wispered in his ear.

"look" logan said with a look in his eye that scared even kendall. logan tok a step twords his dad and all fear was he wanted to do was see this monster suffer."your just a sick little bastard who takes his pain out on his own flesh and blood your as kendall said a sick twisted son of a bitch and i think your kinda dillusional for putting mom in that institute for something you did now get the FUCK OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS OR DO SOMETHING DRASTIC THAT COULD RUIN MY WHOLE CARRIER!"

james was in the room now kinda confused. " ?"

"ah james how youve grown and it looks as though your the fag my son shares a room with well good luck on your relationship."

"oh yeah i wish" logan said sarcasticly not meaning to then held back his anger and said "didnt i tll you to get the fuck out"

"alright im man enough to say my bad" and with that he was gone.

logan ran to his room slammed the door an began to ball.

* * *

_about one hour later_

_knock knock_

james was at te door worried about the boy he so despretly wished he could be with.

"go away!"

"its my room too you know" at this logan kinda laughed and opened the door

"im sorry" he wispered and went to lay down again.

james crawled in beside hm praying to himself that things wouldnt go horribly wrong. logan scooted twords the wall quickly.

"whats wrong?" james asked

"i dont wanna make things hard on you- i mean me oh god that came out so wrong" both him and james bsted out laughing.

calming down james got serious."speacking of hard kendall told me what happened im so sorry."

"dont be its not your fault"

"did you mean it"

"what"

"the i wish part"

"you caught that"

"yeah"

"to be honest yes i...did you probobly think im weird now dont you."\

"wait i thought you were a christian you go to church with carlos every sunday you ask god for help all the time and you quote scripture"

"well is it wrong to love someone as long as you dont put them before god"

"love?"

"yeah."

james grabbed logan by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss it was short but they both thought it was to die for untill james puled away.

"rootbeer?"

"what?" logan giggled in confusion.

"you taste like rootbeer"

"im sorry" he was extreamly confused and his mind was wizzing but he didnt really care he just wanted the pretty boy and all his features"

"no its perfect" he pulled him in for another kiss. the slimply moved there lips together untill logan couldnt help himself and brushed hs tounge against james` who let out a sexy moan and crawlled on top of logan. james grabbed logans caock through his shorts

"ohh jaammie no stop"

"whats wrong"

"im just not ready"

"alright thats fine now come on lets go watch a movie or something"

"oh god i wish we had some new movies those are getting old."

"well lucky for you i got one you like musicals right"

james pulled out a movie from his gym bag that just so happened to be right on the floor next to the bed.

"oh 'rock of ages' i love this movie."

"you problobly didnt realize but while we were in the theator watching this you were rubbing my leg i didnt wanna say anything because i thought you might get freeaked out and wanna leave."

"well now i can do it and not care" logan said kissing his boyfriend and jumping off the bed. he fell to the ground taking james with him.


	3. flashbacks and terror

it was swunday and logan was getting ready for church. carlos ran through the living room brushing past logan and met kendall who pulled him into a kiss and they fell into the room.

"oh carlos!"

"kenny i love you"

**knock knock!**

"what!" carloses voce rang through the door.

"dont do this not today please"

"why?"

"out of respect for the person that brought you in this world and can ttake you out"

"oh yess!"

"what?" kendall asked

"church!"

"really?"

"yess really if you want our relationship to be healthy we have to keep god first"

"im impressed"

"really then come with me."

"ohhhh do i have to"

"please"

* * *

outside the room

"hey baby are you ready" james wrapped his arms around logan.

"your coming with me?"

"of course baby ill support anything you do" logan pulled the taller boy down to his level and into a kiss.

moments later carlos in a dress suit pulled his boyfriend by the ear and out of the room.

"carls dont make kenny do anything he dosnt want to." logan said.

"jamie? your going?" kendall asked

"of course i support everything my baby dose"

"alright ill go" kenny said

"why because james showed passion and compromise to his boyfriend and you dont wanna look bad?" carlos was a little mad.

"guys stop not today out of respect."

"logies right" carlos stared into kendalls eyes as a smile spred across his face and then he kissed him.

"great ready to go" logan asked

"yes" kendall answered but the other two just nodded."

* * *

"wow!" who new a church sevice could be so fun" james said walking back

"i know back in minnosota we just walked in and the church service was so boring we fell asleep now the music is like awesome and they have ways of making service interesting" kendall laughed.

"good im glad you liked it because we are going to a concert next saturday its music even better that todays you ever herd of building 429 for king and country and plumb"

"oh my gosh there like better than us" carlos squaked

"dude whats up with your voice late puberty or something" james joked

carlos fell to the floor of the elevator and pulled his knees to his chest and started rocking back and fourth.

"oh my god, baby!" kendall nelt down beside him

"im sss-sss-sssoo-oo cold"

kendall hugged him and carlos bust into tears.

"whats wrong"

"i feel as though im wet like im swimming i cant breath i here people screaming his name. my brothers name." kendall pulled back andd gasped. carlos was soaked from head tto tow.

_ding!_

the doors of tthe elevator oppened and carlos passed out. they picked him up and carried him to the apart ment.

"kawalski status report" kati was watching the 'penguin of madagascar'

"the patient seems to be suffering flashbbacks that are not his"

"skippa im cold" private rang out

"is it just me or dose this remind anyone of like a horror film" logan wispered

just then carlos looked up and coughed out alot of water. "i dont understand antonio what do you want me to do? your dead thers nothing i can do"

"carlos?"kendall was in his face and looked like he just lost the only thing that ever meant anything to him

"kenny!" he squelled and hugged his boyfriend "im so sorry i love you so much"

"im just glad your okay"

"wow" said katie "i expected that from james and logan but i never saw my own brother as a gay"

"katie go get mom"


	4. breakup musicals

carlos has had nightmares for the past week all about the same thing. but today he got up perfectly fine he walked into the living room heading to fix himself breakfast when he saw kendall kissing jo.

"hey jo?" he started to cry "take good care of him okay" he bagan to ball and ran out the door.

"oh dear god what did i do" kendall said and fell to the floor. he pulled his knees to his chest and started rocking back and fourth.

"im so sorry kenny ill go talk to him." jo ran out the door to chase carlos

in the background. "james?" logan asked confused

"hey baby" he said all cassual.

"what are you doing here lucy.?"

" was just leaving im sorry i shouldnt have been so selfish"

"its okay i dont care any more" logan bust out in tears and ran to the living room and plunged into kendalls arms

"what happened?"

"james kissed lucy"

"i kissed jo in front of carlos"

"really?" he backed up "what james did to me was bad but doing that to carlos after everything hes been through thats just cold and evil!"

logan went back to his room.

* * *

"what are you doing" james asked as logan pulled out a duffle bag and began putting clothes in it.

"caros has been through enough trama and i dont think i cal live with you itd just be to awekward."

"are you moving out what about th band what about us"

"ill sign the release forms at gustavos im just backup for you guys any way itll be an easy replacement"

"baby plea-"

"dont call me that"

he walked out the door.

* * *

**sorry about this i just feel that this moment needs a song so welcome to a musical number if you havnt heard harden my heart its on you tube and in that movie the rock of ages and to the writters and preformers of the song please forgive me. enjoy**:

carlos slid down the wall of the hall way and music began to play in the background: "crying on the corner waitin in the rain i sware ill never ever wait again you gave me your word when words from you are lies."

logan leaving the apartment: "darlin in my wildest dreams i never thought id go but itss time to let you know"

both even though in two diferent areas: "im gonna harden my heart im gonna swallow my tears im gonna turn and leave you here"

logan walking into the lobby: "all of my life ive been waitin in the rain waitin for a feeling that never came"

carlos getting up and lucy walking up behind him: "it feels so close but always disappears"

lucy helping him up: "darlin in your wildest dreams you never had a clue but its time you got the news"

carlos alone: "im gonna harden my heart"

lucy: harden your heart

carlos: im gonna swallow my tears

lucy: swallow your tears boy

both; im gonna turn and eave you here

**okay again sorry but it just fit so perfectly now back to the story:**

"hey logan just texted me he want to know if you wanna leave the palm woods go back to your family and quit big tim rush" lucy asked carlos

"is he leaving"

"yeah he caught james kissing me and uh dosnt think he can live with the pain so hes quiting the band and going bak to minnosota"

"yeah ill go"

* * *

**back in the lobby**

carlos meets logan and takes his bag and heads for the door.

kendalll and james rush to the door and block their path

"please" pants kendall

"dont leave" a tear drops from james face.

**now i need a vote so if people want another music number r&r letting me knw if not give your vote in aswell iwanna keep yall happy. till next time.**


	5. da heck

Music started playing in the background and kendall got a really confused look on his face as logan spoke

"why why should we I have other things I need to be doing in life and carlos has to go home anyway for his brothers funeral it works out for every body in the long run."

"I will embarrass myself in front of everyone if I have to, to keep you" james said quietly as the music picked up pace

"yeah right" logan whispered.

"you don't even care do you" carlos walked off and tried to exit through the pool area that is until Kendal started to sing.

_"I still here your voice when you sleep next to me. I still feel your touch in my dreams" _carlos turned around to see Kendal on one nee in font of him.

logan turned around to see what was happening as james wrapped his arms around the smaller boys torso.

"_forgive me my weekness but I don't know why without you its hard to survive"_ james turned logan around and looked him in the eyes as he sang but the pale boy just scoffed and shoved him of.

lucy was in here now "um quick question when did our lives become the worlds first gay musical no offense"

"um don't look at us I blame the fans" the last part of carlos` words came out like a loud wisper.

a wide smile crossed kendalls face as he stood up to hug the latino.

Katie "woah woah woah"

"what" logan asked

"if lucys right and your lives are a musical then its gonna take a lot more then the first two lines of a song to fix a relation ship."

"shes right" said jo "in high school musical two gabriella didn't cave in when troy started singing his part of gotta go my own way

Camille "and in cry baby please mr. jailer went all the way through before they kissed"

"and in rock of ages" lucy began

"okay we get it" james shouted

"why should I forgive you james?"

"_cause every time we touch I get this feeling and everytime we kiss I sweare I can fly cant you feel my heart beat fast I want this to last I need you by my side"_

"Kenny?" carlos asked

"_cause everytime we touch I feel the static and everytime we kiss I reach for the sky cant you hear my heart beat slow I cant let you go I want you in my life" _

carlos "_your arms are my castle your heart is my sky they wipe away tears that I cry"_

logan "_the good and the bad times weve been through the more you make me rise when I falllllll"_

_"cause every time we touch I get this feeling and every time we kiss I swear I can fly cant you feel my heart beat fast I want this to last I need you by my side."_ carlos looked in kendalls eyes and pulled him into a kiss.

"_cause every time we touch I feel the static and every time we kiss I reach for the sky cant you hear my heart beat slow I cant let you go I want you in my life." logan waked out of james arms and ran back to the apartment._


End file.
